So Be It.

At the second quarter of the school year I felt the need of everyone to like me. I take all the tasks. Smile when I’m mad. Never threw the punch to the girl who really deserves it. And never say no to all the favour even though I know I don’t have time to do it. It makes me feel bad and awkward whenever I refuse to these stuffs. Weird.  I allow myself to be everyone else’s little punching bag, well it hurts!

The truth is that I am very exhausted. My heart feels like bursting of all the struggles and demands to please everyone, but what about me? I always put this line into my mind “Always put others first before you” like seriously. And suddenly, I found myself realizing that I’m so dumb to do all those things. And keep asking myself, “What kind of person I am and do such things?!”. While sitting, I saw different persons who I thought at first were my friends. But the truth is, it is all lies. They are just another bunch of people who are stopping me to spread my wings and do the things I know I’m capable of, but I was there listening to all the stuffs their murmuring about, then I told myself to change the my world of  hell to a paradise. I’d been living in a lie, trying to be better on all the things and people around me and also to myself. While in reality I’m not the one who is sucked. It was them.

“Therese, there is no way for you to be liked by everyone.” Yeah, I have a tendency to talk to myself sometimes. Those talks are sometimes true or fake as a China phone. It looks like this one. BOOM! I’m ending up sharing it to all of you. I know there will be people in the world who can relate to this. Like me. People who know they have a golden heart and people who are fun. Of course there will be this kind of people who won’t understand your craziness. People that will hate the way you laugh. And people who will be rejoicing in times of your failures. But letting them rule you, that’s the real failure itself. Yes I know, there will be people who will never gonna like me. I figured there were bunch of people who will judge my kindness for weakness and turn my weakness to their own benefit. Oh noooo!!! You are worthless, you kill joys, and my life is too AWESOME for you!

I don’t know if there are people who are in my shoes right now or been to my shoes. All I know is to care to all the people who care for me. Love them more as they loved me. I will stay up ‘till the sun rises to listen to you cry. Even though I can’t really figure out what kind of life I’m living in. But I’m sure that I’ll be here to tell you what I believe you’ve been out of line. I know that not everyone in this world is going to like you.  But if you like yourself, have a hundreds of great friends, and a loving family, you won’t have a second to hate people who hate you.  Because you are too busy loving the people around you.